Wannabe--Choose Your Own Celebrity Adventure by Tessa Clayton

Author:Tessa Clayton [Tessa Clayton]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784183868
Publisher: John Blake Publishing
Published: 2015-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

If you want to go on a date with Dustin, go to 35 on page 152

If you’d rather concentrate on your career, go to 49 on page 206

27

Your belly looks like a Space Hopper, but it turns out there’s a good reason – you’re having five babies! Apparently, you and Reece are both super-fertile, and against all the odds, five of his sperm managed to find their way to the target.

‘We find fertility is often inversely proportional to the size of the intellect,’ explains the consultant obstetrician when you go for your first scan.

Reece is thrilled. ‘Wow, I’m going to be a dad!’ he says excitedly, looking at the screen. ‘Look at that one’s little face! He’s soo cute!’

The consultant sighs. ‘That’s not the ultrasound you’re looking at, Mr Sullivan, it’s my iPhone,’ he says wearily. ‘I’ve used my five-year-old’s drawing of SpongeBob SquarePants as a screensaver.’

You can barely concentrate on a word anyone’s saying. Five babies? Just how fat are you going to get? And how will you cope?

‘I’m going to be just like that Octomum in the States,’ you wail.

‘Not quite – that poor woman had eight babies,’ says the consultant. ‘Your babies are quins.’

Well, there’s no need to be rude! But right now you’re too concerned to take the consultant to task. Frankly, you’re terrified. Your biggest fear is that your babies will have big noses or jug ears or something like that, but to your relief, the scan doesn’t pick up any unattractive facial features. Which means you can concentrate on your second fear: how you’ll cope financially. Channel 6 is going to film a new reality show when the babies finally arrive, but will that be enough?

It turns out your worries are groundless, as you manage to arrange for each of your babies to be sponsored by a different company. So when little Persil, Milton, Huggies, Dettol and Weetabix arrive in early spring, you’re actually rolling in cash. To top it all, your babies are perfect – all of them have all their fingers and toes, and there are no ginger ones.

Of course, Ooh La La! has purchased exclusive rights to the first photoshoot.

‘Shampayne, how are you finding motherhood?’ the reporter asks.

‘Hard work!’ you smile. ‘Especially all the crying and wailing!’

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t do that, really,’ Reece chips in. ‘It just gets a bit much sometimes, changing five babies’ nappies and giving five babies their bottles. I get a bit tired, and sometimes I cry.’

The reporter turns to Reece. ‘So do you wish Shampayne would do some of the hands-on stuff, Reece?’

‘Oh, Reece knows I’m too busy,’ you say.

‘That’s right,’ Reece agrees. ‘I don’t want to interrupt Shampayne when she’s watching daytime TV, or having a pedicure.’

‘I do take them out and about, though,’ you add. ‘The other day I took them to a nature reserve, didn’t I?’

Reece smiles. ‘She did. When she went back to collect them at teatime there was a family of foxes playing with them.’

‘There was one sitting right on Huggies’ face, can you believe it? It was adorable! I took some lovely pictures.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.